I was confused.
Realistically speaking, I know otters haven't written plays...or anything for that matter.
Folks always told me otters don't even have thumbs. Anything they type would be alljumbledtogetherlikethis because they can't hit the space bar.
But what if they did write?
I let that question float off into the universe to mingle with other absurd questions people ask. It didn't come back to me until a few days later.
***
I was cutting the grass on the big slope by the chicken houses. On the first pass, I saw something fuzzy run out from behind the grain elevator. When I came back on the second pass, I noticed that that something was awfully close to getting into the lawnmower's path. Giving the critter an opportunity to scurry on along, I stopped, disengaged the blades, and dropped the throttle to idle.
The fuzz ball popped up out of the grass onto its hind legs. It was an otter, and it was 12 feet away.
It plopped back down on all fours and ran toward me like a slinky on its side wobbly-bouncing up and down. Before I knew it, that little rascal stood up on its hind legs right next to the mower—so close I could've touched it.
We locked eyes. It raised its little paw up, waved at me, and motioned for me to shut off the engine. So, I did.
The engine backfired. POW! The otter fell over as though it were a stuntman in a Wild West shootout.
It got back up on its hind legs, bowed, and smiled at me.
Then, it pointed at its ears and pulled its paws backward as if it were pulling out a drain plug. So, I took my ear plugs out.
I lifted my chin away from my chest in an upward "what's up" nod. In response, it asked me, "What's your email address?" So, I told it.
It gave me a half-hearted salute, said, "Thank you,” and bolted off toward the pond.
A few days later, I got the following email:
Dear Mr. Lawnmower,
Nice meeting you the other day. I hope all is well. I just wanted to share one of our creations with you. Enjoy!
Sincerely,
Ellie Otter
I opened the attached file. The document contained the following part of a play:
Announcer: Previously on Cytoplasmic Sonication Investigators: USN Edition
Lieutenant: Sir, it appears the entire south side of the plasma membrane is under attack.
Captain: Are you sure, lieutenant?
Lieutenant: Affirmative, sir. Have a look for yourself.
Captain: (Looks at screen) Holy Glucosinolates! Lieutenant… sound the alarm!
Lieutenant: What is it sir?
Captain: It’s the humans…they’ve decoded our acoustic signaling.
Lieutenant: But sir, are you sure? They don’t think we have ears.
Captain: Think, lieutenant, think! At three weeks from harvest in Zea mays, we’re nothing but ears.
(Captain puts on sunglasses and stares off into the distance as theme music begins.)
I sat my phone down and stared at it until the automatic timer turned the screen black.
Well played, Ellie Otter.
Corny, but well played.
Thanks for reading!
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Lol, I love it. I think you captured exactly how they would write :)
Wonderful piece of writing.
Made me laugh and smile, which i need right now 😊